The concept of home is such a strange thing — I know that I live in Upper Dublin and that I attend school in Bethlehem, but what is home? I live at school for the majority of the year, but does that establish that it’s my home? And what about China? I mean, that’s my heritage lies and where my parents were born and raised, but is that a strong enough bond?
I don’t know why I’ve been filled with these questions recently. A lot’s been on my mind, and it’s really becoming this heavy burden…I’ve been having a hard time concentrating and staying focused. Really frustrating. Maybe it’s because the most important things in my life right now shouldn’t be the most important things at all, I dunno.
Sleeping has become just an odd thing for me this semester. Yes, I understand that I’m only in Week 3 of my spring semester, but I’ve just been sleeping less. My friend Anthony told me that there’s some statistic that we sleep away thirty years of our life. What the shuttlecock? Thirty motherfucking years? Let’s consider this — we live until our 70s, so that means that we spend only forty years awake. It’s a bit ridiculous. I want to relish every chance. Granted, I constantly think about the future and who I’ll be then, so it kind of disgusts me that I can waste thirty years sleeping instead of embellishing on this future person.
Regardless, there’s a sense of anger now. I have no idea if it’s because of smaller amounts of sleep or just otherwise.
“And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world”—Your Song, Elton John
“Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we’re still the same
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool”—Cool - Gwen Stefani [from L.A.M.B.]