Life’s an opportunity, which is something I understand. What we’re given is a blessing, whether or not that supposed blessing is apparent. However, it remains to be seen where these blessings lead us. I know that the future is an unexpected thing, but I hate not knowing what’s going to happen next — it leads to scenarios of “what ifs” and concerns of doubts.
I’ll admit that I’m a pessimist and somewhat of a realist…hell, I’m not even sure if that sort of a combination is possible. Regardless, I have a skewed look of things and events and while I’ve always known of this, it didn’t really hit me until today. I KNOW that I’m supposed to see the positive side of things, but having a defeatist’s attitude makes that difficult. These negative/not positive thoughts are fueled by opportunities lost and wasted…and what’s fueled this post is me thinking about those opportunities.
I’ve been dwelling on them for quite some time, and it’s made me wanna leave even more. I want to explore, I want to…escape, in a sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inferring anything bad, but I want to venture out of college and do my own thing. I’ve taken too many things for granted that it’s finally hitting me to do something that I want to do — I want to be self-fulfilling, for once.
Maybe I’m making my thoughts heavier than I should, but it’s been a lingering theme recently. This summer has taken a toll on me, both in a personal and existential sense, and it’s really made me think. Life is an opportunity, but maybe I’ve been taking too different of an approach to this idea.