Alexandra Burke - All Night Long
Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love
Chipmunk feat. Esmee Denters - Until You Were Gone
Dizzee Rascal - Bonkers
Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed
Jason Derulo - In My Head
JLS - One Shot
Justin Bieber - Baby
Ke$ha - Tik Tok
Pixie Lott - Mama Do
Rihanna - Rude Boy
Scouting For Girls - This Ain’t a Love Song
Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
Usher feat. Will.I.Am - OMG
The Wanted - All Time Low
It’s funny how I thought this summer would be amazing, fantastic, blahblahblah. I feel more burnt out than I do during the school year. And I haven’t a clue why. Maybe it’s the combination working 8-9 hoursplus myfinanceclass, but I feel like I should be able to manage that. And myinternshiplife is ehh…kinda painful actually. But at least I’m earning money. I hope my current state/mood/mess of a brain right now hasn’t affectedwhat my supervisor and coworkers think ofme. Blah.
This is my fifth week at Lehigh for the summer. To be honest, I’m getting…burnt out. I can only be here for so long. I want to drive away for a long, long time but I have nowhere to go right now. It’s almost 11 PM and here I am, stuck in my apartment doing homework. Rapture.
I need a change of pace/location/environment. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself right now. I can’t really explain how I’m feeling right now; I’m bummed out and I need a break.
I’m starting to get sick of Lehigh already. I’m so like jaded and I don’t even know. I used to love it. Like absolutely love it. And now I’m not so sure. I’ve made some amazing friends but I think it’s time for a change. Or maybe I’m just being rash and speaking out my current frustration with everything.
One might say it’s a feeble attempt to run away from my problems. Who knows.
I can relate to this post without a doubt. I’ve had (still have ‘em, too) thoughts about transferring. Hell, I’ve filled out transfer applications at the beginning of sophomore year. But this is what I’ve realized (I think) — I’ve been at Lehigh for two years. Two years of my college career. Halfway finished, and thoughts of transferring enter my mind, seeping through my judgement. Would it be the right choice or will it totally fall to pieces? I used to absolutely love Lehigh, too, but I’ve realized that it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. Hell, I even thought, “What the hell am I even doing here?”, tonight.
However, what stops me is this — I’ve embedded myself into this culture, whether I like it or not. I’ve grown and changed because of the people and the long nights. Have I found unhappiness here? Yeah, but I’ve also found that if I left these people I call my friends, I wouldn’t be sure what to do. Sure, I could start anew, but what would that mean for me, personally? This is where my personality kicks in and prevents me from leaving this kind-of-shiteous place — I’m not going to quit it when I’m already in too deep. I’ve made it this far. If I could deal with high school, then MAYBE I can deal with Lehigh.
Sure, in retrospect, I could realize that I hated my time here. However, it’ll be an overall experience — never mind the details or mishaps that have and will happen, because we’re going to eventually forget most of them. We have some fickle minds.
All in all, whether or not you decide to do the deed, I hope for the best for you…but if you’re like me, don’t think about the “what ifs.” I do that all too much and it’ll consume you. Live for what we have now.